CBS 19 - The Eye of East Texas News - Mothers speak out on fatherhood in the U.S.

Mothers speak out on fatherhood in the U.S.

(CNN) -- Men who stick around and work toward a stable marriage or relationship are key to good fathering, a national survey of mothers' attitudes on fathering says.

"Public policies and private efforts that successfully promote healthy marriages will also contribute to good fathering," according to the report prepared for the National Fatherhood Initiative.

More than 80 percent of women who were married to or living with the father of their children were very or somewhat satisfied with the father's performance. At the same time, less than one-quarter of women who were not living with the father felt the same way.

The results varied by race.

"African-American mothers reported lower satisfaction with fathers than did the white mothers and gave the fathers lower marks on all but one of the evaluation questions," according to the report. "However, all of these differences can be totally or largely explained by the fact that a substantially smaller percentage of the black than of the white mothers were married to or lived with the fathers."

More than 1,500 mothers were surveyed for the wide-ranging "Mama Says: A National Survey of Mothers' Attitudes on Fathering." The National Fatherhood Initiative bills itself as "a broad-based social movement to combat father absence and promote responsible fatherhood."

Some of the classic battles of parenting were also tackled, particularly the issues of dads helping around the house and the balance between work and family.

"Despite an overall favorable evaluation of fathers by the married and cohabiting mothers, a majority of them agreed that they could achieve a better work-family balance if the fathers provided more support," the report says.

A similar theme showed up in a recent Pew Research Center survey on working moms. Sixty-two percent of the employed mothers said they would prefer to work part time. That figure contrasts with the 80 percent of employed fathers who said they prefer full-time work.

"Working mothers ... are ambivalent about whether full-time work is the best thing for them or their children; they feel the tug of family much more acutely than do working fathers," according to the Pew study. "As a result, most working mothers find themselves in a situation that they say is less than ideal."

Sixty-six percent of women with children age 17 or younger work either full or part time, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Among those mothers, nearly three-quarters work full time.

A father who blogs about his parenting experiences -- known as the "Straight Dope Dad" -- sympathizes with moms who want more help at home.

This father, who doesn't identify himself to protect the privacy of his partner and daughter, says on his Web site that he works from home to help out and has been changing diapers "since day one."

"Needless to say you'll never hear me say 'oh, enjoy every minute of it because they grow up so fast.'

"You know who says that nonsense?" he asks on his Web site.

"Dad's that come home from work, spend 15 minutes with their kids then watch television till bedtime while mom feeds the kids, washes the dishes and puts the children to bed. Trust me, if you're fully involved in all aspects of raising your child, it doesn't go by fast," he adds.

"Not only is this good for us it's also good for our spouses," according to him. "Nothing makes your partner happier than taking the kids out in the evening so she can decompress, read, watch a bit of TV, or just stare into space without interruption."

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